I Do it for the Art

"What should I write about, Collin?"  It's 9 pm, and I haven't accomplished my minimum of 250 words and the crazy person living beneath my forehead starts screaming that the blog award people will start to count my words and then sue me when they see there's nothing here.  The nerves set in, and the ideas fly away.
"Write about your newfound ability to fart."  Collin, it would seem, is not feeling helpful.
Also, I DON'T fart.  Ladies don't fart.  I explode hold it in until bedtime when I hope the covers will absorb the stink the appropriate time and place.
"Write about why you started the blog."
Like it isn't OBVIOUS.
To be rich and famous!  That's the only reason anyone does anything!  I will accidentally stumble across some meaningful topic and the internet will go rabid for my stories, and then book deals will begin to fly in, and I will also find some new talent for drawing/painting.  From there, I will spend all my money on pretty, shiny things use my fame to raise awareness about important issues facing the world today.
I will travel the world, leaving shining shit stains of happiness in my wake.  Collin, too, will be affected by my new glamorous life and will FINALLY beg forgiveness for the fart lies be treated to the easy life he deserves.
Here, I give you the first stages of my fame.  Art.  Be sure to say that in the most pretentious voice possible: Ahhhhrt.