Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Depressing Everyone on the Bandwagon

I suppose it's time to jump on the bandwagon, and mention that NY Times article about 20-somethings.  I suppose it's bad manners to assume you've already read it.  As Stuart Smalley (nee, Al Franken) said, "...when you assume, you make an ass out of Uma Thurman."
So, the basic points of it were that the 20-somethings has become a time to discover yourself, a time to process adulthood, rather than being a full-fledged adult.
...You should probably just set an afternoon aside and read it for yourself.

I left that article behind feeling ... more lost than ever, I suppose.
I'm in the last gasp of my 20's, and have less idea of what to do now than ever before.
I want to change the world, but I don't want that to change my world.
I want to be entrenched in a job I love, but still have plenty of vacation time.
I want to make a real difference, so long as I'm paid amply.
I want to write stories, but I can barely keep this blog afloat.

If you've ever been in the same boat, let me ask you something:  Did you get out?  Did you sink or swim?  How did you find what you wanted to do.

And so long as we're talking articles, how 'bout this one in Psychology Today, addressing the bad habit we all have of comparing up.  With Facebook, and MySpace (oh, that jilted love), and Twitter galore, we have a barrage of fabulous lives to compare ours to, and how could they ever live up?  The article's point was that well-adjusted people don't compare themselves to anyone other than themselves.

The whole bit made me feel pretty ok, for about 2 minutes, until I thought what about siblings?  If ever there was a fair comparison to make, wouldn't it be to siblings?  Someone a similar age, with similar opportunities, and even the same damn gene pool?  
My mum once told me it's not fair to compare myself to my brother, but I couldn't think of anything more fair.
My brother the doctor.
My brother, the life of the party, the social butterfly.
I mean, the man gets paid to take summers off and visit friends.
And if I don't compare myself to him, how about all the other fabulous people I know?  I don't need to venture as far as tabloids to find amazing lives.  They're all right here, sharing their city with me.

I've never lived overseas, like some friends, nor have I started my own business, or biked an entire coastline.  All these amazing people and their stories, and it's so hard not to feel like an anchor.
I remember that feeling of possibility, and for my life, I don't know where it's gone.  I used to swear I would never work in some office, on some menial job, and now I'm pushing my resume just to be allowed a cubicle and some grey lighting.

Will another article be written, giving hope to those of us (almost) out of our 20's, saying that the 30's are a time of self-discovery and fulfillment?  Or is this it?  Have I wasted it all away?