Thursday, August 12, 2010

In Which I Celebrate My New Year

It's that time of year again.  Only a few weeks left before all those horrible, awkward looking bipeds kids running around have to go back to school.  I know my teacher friends are probably groaning about that sad fact, having to pack up their book clubs, put away their sleeping bags, and individual styles for something a little more teacher-ish, but to them I say: pfff!  Don't care!

Because I always loved this time of year.  When an entire section in Target gets deemed the "Back to School" section, positively over-flowing with new notebooks, pens, pencils, highlighters, etc.
I don't remember the last time I actually made a purchase from one of these aisles, but they still get me positively aglow.  All that yellow, blue, and pink stickey paper.  Those fancy mechanical pencils.  The idea that this year is going to be better than the last.  This year I will learn and even excel.  I will make new friends, and participate in exciting activities.  I will run that friggin mile, and I won't be as slow as last year.

I suppose the back to school season is like my New Year's.  All these promises to myself, and unspoken hopes can live in the days before it all actually starts.  Before that first day, when you realize the popular girls, and not so popular girls, and even the unpopular girls, still won't talk to you.  Before you come to grips with the sad fact that you're still considered just as much of a freak now as you were at the beginning of the summer.  When you buy yourself a pretty outfit, stare at yourself in the mirror, and practice conversations with your invisible potential friends, and you can really believe they will like you back.

These are the days when everything feels like an opportunity, and there's nobody around to tell you different.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Huzzah for Reality Television....Just Not Really

The boyfriend and I have been studiously following Last Comic Standing this summer.  Watching reality television seems to go against his very thread of being (he still has to ask me what a Snookie is), but he'll sit through anything involving comedians.  We share that feeling of love for anybody who has dedicated their lives to making us laugh.
Tonight we watched the season finale, desperately rooting for Tommy Jonnigan.  I'm sure I didn't spell that correctly, but nobody ever said I was the guy's publicist.  We sat through an hour of pure hell waiting for that final judging, fingers crossed.
Part of that pure hell involved a few minutes of Gloria Gaynor singing "I Will Survive."
She's the ultimate one-hit-wonder, I announced.
Still, how can you not love that single woman anthem?  Here's how: she changed the lyrics a bit to add some "praise god" lines.  Ick!  I forget the actual lyrics, since I was too busy choking on my vomit, but it was basically, "yay Jesus."
I feel betrayed.  My single woman anthem can now only be sung by Cake....or I'll just have to listen to Beyonce's "Put A Ring On It"...or whatever it's called.
oh, and spoiler alert, Tommy Jonnagin didn't even win.  *double sigh*

The short end of it is this: if I'm going to see lyrics changed, I'm gonna watch this girl.