Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Too Much to Share, Really

A foreword: this is more personal than I'm comfortable with, but it's real, as far as that goes.  Pouring something out has made me feel better and free of it.  Letting anyone else in goes against my better judgement.  Be warned, is all I'm saying.

I'm 29 now and have been thinking of you recently.  So hard to let go.  Like it'll be breaking off a piece of me.  Me beneath the covers.  You telling me I'm beautiful, and I disagree but believe, because the two can co-exist here.
Saying goodbye to you is saying goodbye to odometers, cold tiles beneath my feet, waves breaking, elton john sung at the top of our lungs, coils of smoke, october nights, first snowfalls, thunderstorms, red plastic cups, driving at night.
I wonder if in the moments I miss you, do you stop walking whatever sidewalk, in whatever city, and all of a sudden think of me?  Do you start to sing Elton John songs?
Or, maybe it's all reverse.  Maybe I get sad because you decided to stop and think of me.

6 comments:

Coloradocasters said...

Reading this was like a punch to the gut. I might have said this a few times about certain special people.

May you once again find a special someone that brings those special feelings back to you.

outoftunepiano said...

Thanks, Colorado. Truthfully, though, this was about a very long dead relationship. I've a greater love now in my current boyfriend. He's better than any whom have come before. Sometimes your brain just wanders to the past, for whatever reason, you know?

Unknown said...

thanks for sharing this--it's beautiful. i LOVE the last line.

Mr London Street said...

This is a lovely post, I enjoyed it a lot. Perfectly formed, and the ending is perfect.

Sharon Longworth said...

Beautifully written.
Mr London Street pointed me in the direction of this post - and I'm glad he did.

outoftunepiano said...

Wow...thank you, everyone! I had no idea this would be so well received, given I was so unsure about sharing it to begin with. I'm so grateful for all your comments.