Sweet Nothings

D:  100 kisses to you!

 me:  101 to you!

but...it only works out to, like, 77 kisses.

taxes.

  D:  ah nuts. now i'm running a kiss deficit

oh

well

then i guess i'm ahead in the kiss contest

 me:  how do you figure?

seems you're gonna run into the red as far as kisses go, in very little time.

  D :  well i gave you 100 duty free kisses

you gave me 77 on account of not gettin' at the airport

also, you kissed the GOVERNMENT 24 times

gross

 me:  the GOVERNMENT has bad breath.

  D :  indeed

 me:  and tries to cop a feel, even when it's clear that only kisses are involved.

then GOVERNMENT asks where GOVERNMENT can get the kisses.

  D :  i bet audits are...

invasive

 me:  GOVERNMENT makes me vomit on my shoes and try to find plans to not give GOVERNMENT any kisses and allot you all 101.

we should move.

  D :  lol

 me:  we could go to Oslo, but then GOVERNMENT would take 77 kisses and leave you only 24.

  D :  it's tough all over

 me:  but at least there GOVERNMENT is more upstanding, and even opens doors for me.

  D :  i prefer under the table kisses

and under other furniture

 me:  under sofa kisses

they are dirty, but soft.

  D :  ha!

 me:  under bookshelf kisses are nerdy and nervous.

  D :  and not earthquake safe

 Sent at 2:32 PM on Thursday

 me:  under hope chest kisses are cramped, but optimistic.

under dog bed kisses are...best left alone.

  D :  GOD